I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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