I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
