So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
she peed on how many people?
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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