I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
