Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
