Dude my mom stole all your condoms
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
