I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
