Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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