....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I am mentally ready for anal.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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