I wish I could teleport
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
