can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
