...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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