he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
