Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
