Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
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