i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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