Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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