I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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