Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
