elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
