I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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