Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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