all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
