Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Randomize
