u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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