I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
