Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
