that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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