fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
When did angry sex become our thing?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
