you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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