never play flip cup with pint glasses
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
