As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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