ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize