Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Even my vagina gasped.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
