I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
