by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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