My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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