got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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