There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
my poor anus
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
