how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
