Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
This is my gift to your gina
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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