this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
