This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
