the condom got lost in my hair
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
