so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
