Cold hands, warm shart.
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
