....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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