That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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