doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Randomize