I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
