U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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