These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
