You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Randomize
