Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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