thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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