Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
