hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
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