pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
