I'm eating all of the evidence.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
