I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
