I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize